Waking up…
In my last post, I alluded to the fact that I felt strangely about yesterday. After doing so, I simply talked about how I hadn’t slept and completely left you, the reader, in the dark as to what made yesterday so different than all of the other days. Now, I’ll try to get to the story.
Tuesday was a fairly normal day. I did get to bed much later than usual on Monday night, which lead to a sleepy start to the day. I went to work, did the work things, spent the evening doing laundry, and then heading to the building’s hall council meeting.
Throughout the evening, I had been doing a little reading, and then a little thinking. I started to really think about things in my life in a way that I had not in a long time. I spent time thinking about work and my career: it’s current state, possible future directions, the idea of beginning work on a doctoral degree in the next few years, and other things of the like.
I thought about how I had been writing very rarely since I moved to Pittsburgh. Before I moved, I’d write a lot more, and share my thoughts and observations with others more frequently. In the last couple of years, though, when I’ve written, it’s been more summary-based. I’m a poor reporter phoning in sub-par stories to a really boring and lame newspaper.
I also started thinking about how I’ve grown apart from a number of close friends, and how I’m spending less time interacting with people outside of work than I used to.
I picked up my paper journal, which had been untouched since February, and leafed through it a bit. I took some time and jotted down various ideas about things I’d like to revisit in writing later. There were ideas swirling all around my head. This time, though, I wasn’t going to let them be forgotten.
I realize that a lot of this may sound as if I’m unsatisfied with my job or life or whatever. That’s not really the case. I have a good job. I have good people around me. I’m proud of where I am. It’s just that I really think I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve not been putting as much effort into things as they deserve.
What will all of this translate into? Well, hopefully I’ll refocus and put myself back into my job… try to recapture some of the enthusiasm that I think may have slipped away. I think it’s time to really update the site design here. Make it cleaner and lighter. With a newly spruced up theme, I hope to more easily motivate myself to do some actual writing, as opposed to simply “Hey look at this new crap I bought for my really cool motorcycle. OMG things are so cool!”
But then again, I’m a fickle sort of guy. I’ll get really amped up about something, only to loose interest a few days later. Things that require real effort rarely last long in my world.
Sit tight, readers. I’m not sure what’s down the road ahead.